Losing friends...

I lost two recently.  Actually, this has been going on for a couple of years, but I'm finally facing the fact that these good friendships are gone.

I still will hear from them.  My one friend will contact me when she needs something.  But if I need her... well, you can guess.  She has a lot on her plate, I know that.  And every one of us wishes we could stay in better touch with our friends.  We make the effort, and when they are hurting, we are there.  Erma Bombeck, the humor author, once said that the best friends are the ones who can be apart for a month and still be enormously close when they're back together.  And if a crisis comes up, they drop everything to be there.

My friend Suzanne and I are like that.  Busy lives means we don't always have the time, but we make time and when we can talk -- by getting together, on the phone, or email -- it's always great.

That's why I didn't face the fact about how far gone these relationships were; I kept thinking they just needed time to take care of things.  But after years... time to wake up and see it for what it is.

My other friend...  I really can't believe it and the real thing is: I have no idea why this is happening.  Everything was great and then, all of a sudden....  she still contacts me every once in a while with a polite note of about 4 words or so.  Maybe a little paragraph.  This is someone who'd spend hours talking with me or doing things together.  I could tell her anything.  And practically did.  We've shared so much and been through a lot. Another friend recently pointed out that she was my muse; I never realized it until then.

It hurts.

And yes, I know: the sun will come out tomorrow.  I'm only sad if I let myself be that way.  The glass is half full, not half empty.  A door closed, a window opened....    blah, blah, blah.  There, I made the Mike Brady speech for you.


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