Sunday, October 13, 2013

Faced another tough step

I ate in the same restaurant where I was with my mom on the day she died.  I've avoided it ever since because it was too painful, too many memories.  But I was with a friend and she pointed and said, "Let's have lunch here" and I nodded before I saw where she meant. At that point, I thought I can't say no.

I took the visor Angel that John gave me a couple days after the funeral; he said, "Your mom told me she wanted you to have this." Truth is, it is the kind of thing she would have given me.

Because I have been in my car with this right there when moments have hit me, it's become my little talisman. Something that says her to my heart.  So I grabbed it as I got out of the car and held it in my hand while I was there.

Sometimes I dug it so hard into my hand that it hurt; a lot of memories came back although thankfully not as much as there could have been, because we sat in a different section.

I got through it and I guess that's a good step. Don't know if I'll be doing it again any time soon. :) But I did it!

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