I woke up early after only a couple hours sleep. I was so excited and so full of emotion, I wanted to talk to someone, but who else was up so early? Silly to say, but I didn't want to call my groom, like it was part of that "can't see you before the wedding". I was even letting my maid of honor sleep in a bit more. Then I knew who was awake: my Mom. I called her and yes, she was awake, she was just as full of emotion.
I had just heard my groom sing "Freebird" to me only hours before after the rehearsal dinner. My maid of honor woke up and we started getting me ready. She did my hair herself! Then Mom was there and helped with gown, my brother (who was giving me away) arrived and Mom said, "Come see your baby sister." He was so choked up, he just hugged me.
We had some problems after that -- bridesmaid running late, in-laws getting lost -- but all I think about right now is when I finally got to see John waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I reached up to kiss him as I did for nearly three years to that day, and he smiled and pushed me gently away. The kiss had to wait.
I did roll my eyes a bit -- like we never kissed before -- but it was quickly gone as I got so starry eyed that this day was finally here.
The next thing I think of is that moment when we were finally alone, even for a moment. And later when my Mom told me that John said to her, "I can't believe my Erin married me today. I can't believe she chose me."
It's a cliche, but the years go by quicker than you can imagine and I can't believe it's been 20 years since that day. It doesn't feel like it and I only really felt it when I saw our honeymoon hotel and pictured that newlywed couple. I'm happy to be both of them -- that bride and groom who didn't know what was ahead and the people who have that experience and have grown because of it. John was right when he said before our wedding, I don't want to love you forever the way I do now. I would miss so much. I would miss building the life and everything that's going to bring, and then when we're older & we look back over the years and said We did this. We built this life.
My poor groom is in bed with an upset stomach. I got him medicine and he's asleep. Hopefully, he'll be well in a couple hours and can make our celebration tonight. Meanwhile, I'll take care of him, go take care of the dogs, and hope for the best. That's marriage. :)
Happy Anniversary, hon.